the love of my life is expecting not his first, but SECOND child in just about a month .
if you're a long time follower of my blog, you'll know that i was deeply and madly in LOVE with my very own best friend . he was there to comfort me and let me cry on him after my departure from currently out-of-work, NFL rookie, LB . shortly after being signed to the Carolina Panthers, LB and i separated . it was then where i fell in love with my other half. college student, making a name for himself and his seed. worked hard, had the car money and clothes to prove it . his aura made my stomach hurt and literally had my lower parts throbbing whenever he came too close . we had a falling out . he didn't like the direction i was going in , and honestly , neither did i . but i let him live his life . i shouldn't have though . i should've told him how i was feeling instead of telling him how i wanted to be penetrated. i should've told him how his voice made my heart skip a beat instead of telling him to go deeper . i should've told him what i was willing to do in order to win him rather then telling him to bring the condoms. but he had enough of me . he had enough of my party all night, drink all day lifestyle . he had enough of the racy photoshoots, the pot , cigarettes , the clubs . he got tired of picking me up from random places in the night . pretty soon, he stopped answering my calls . stopped listening to me cry . he disappeared from my life .
[why aren't you and gia friends anymore?]
"Have you seen her twit pics and blogs lately? i'm not down with how she puts herself out there. she'll always be my best friend tho...i guess"
(via formspring)
so he went back . he went back to the "baby mama" . he moved her back in . she's now with child . and i'm heartbroken . i loved that boy to death . he was my world . he was my first kiss . he was the safety net i thought would always be there . he PROMISED to always be there . i know he loves me . i could've sworn he told me .
i've never been so drunk with love in my life .
4 comments:
wow.
I know the feeling.
.. it's never too late.
I agree with the above. It's not over til your dead.
wow this post really hits home to me because i was going threw the same thing about a year ago.. I had to leave him alone it hurt bad but i knew it would neva work i would never be number one in his life cause he had a baby coming but its all about how strong of a person u are to Handel it hang in there ur beautiful.
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